Learn to say NO

NST: KUALA LUMPUR: Sexual predators targeting children watch out: The children are onto your dirty tricks.
A total of 1,400 Form One students from six schools have been taught to distinguish, among other things, between a safe and an unsafe touch and other forms of sexual abuse.
The pilot programme, an undertaking by P.S. (Protect & Save) The Children, is expected to be expanded nationwide over time.
P.S. The Children director Madeleine Yong said there were also plans to introduce the programme to primary and pre-school pupils.
"We also intend to reach out to children with learning disabilities as they are four to 10 times more vulnerable to sexual abuse than normal children," she told the New Straits Times.
But the non-profit organisation’s plans, sponsored by the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry and supported by the Education Ministry, will depend on the success of the pilot project and the availability of funds.
Yong said the programme, which began in April, had made tremendous headway in educating students on the dangers of sexual abuse and its many forms.
"Some children had been abused but didn’t know what was happening to them," she said.
Yong said the number of children abused in Malaysia was almost similar to the United States, where 30 per cent of children were sexually abused.
Sexual abuse of children involves visual (voyeurism), verbal (such as obscene phone calls) or physical (including oral sex).
"From teaching personal safety and giving talks to adults, I would say that the figures here are almost similar to the United States and the Philippines, with half of the victims being boys," Yong said.
The personal safety programme is being taught at Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Taman Desa, SMK Taman Connaught, SMK Seri Permaisuri, SMK Maxwell, SMK Dharma and Victoria Institution.
On safe and unsafe touch, she said students were not specifically told what it was.
"We don’t tell them but we ask them to list out what they think it might be. From here, we can pick out the child’s experiences and from the second lesson, gauge where they’re coming from, without judging them."
The focus was on sexual abuse, but by teaching children assertive skills, they could learn how to say "no" to many other things like peer pressure, bullying and drugs, said Yong.
Module three is on boundaries and violations.
"How do you know that your boundaries have been invaded? We give children different scenarios so that they can identify and know what to do if they find themselves in such a situation."
The other modules are on how to ask for help, how to help a friend and support networks.
"Through the programme, we hope that a better reporting system can be established, where children will feel comfortable about reporting cases of sexual abuse to their teachers or friends."
The idea for the project came about after a group of teachers underwent a training course on sexual abuse with P.S. The Children.
Victoria Institution counselling teacher Nirmala Arunasalam, who conducts the programme at the school, said the personal safety programme was an excellent way for students to learn to protect themselves from sexual predators.
"In the beginning, they weren’t aware of their rights but from my observation, students later realised they could speak up."
Nirmala added that although there was still fear, at least there was awareness.
"When we first started, there were a few giggles, but overall they were very responsive. The programme was very interactive and the barrier is breaking. I feel they will be able to talk to me if there is something wrong."
Student Mohamad Faris Aiman Moner said the course gave him the courage to say "no" to something he disliked.
"I feel more confident about myself, thanks to my teacher’s guidance. I also feel I will be able to help a friend who is being sexually abused. I can give them options."
His counselling teacher, Nik Norhaizan Nik Yusoff, said talking about private parts could be uncomfortable but it became easier after several lessons when both teacher and students were more open.
"The words we use are important. We have to control what we say because incest involves parents and we don’t want the children to become paranoid," she said.
Brian J. Lariche, associate partner of project manager, The Liaison Combination (M) Sdn Bhd, said a survey was conducted among the students before the modules were taught.
"This is to gauge how much they know (about sexual abuse). After the modules are taught, we will test how much they have learned.
"Three months down the road, we will test them again to see how much they remember."